You load your holovid set, scanning Yousphere for something, anything to pass the time. Suddenly your scrolling stops on a familiar blue-and-yellow starburst featuring a kitsune man with dark, brown fur and narrow eyes standing alongside the show’s host, a female ysoki with a salt-and-pepper fur and flashy azure and gold clothing. The show’s title—Warpweave Theory, Or How You’re Literally Expanding Reality By Noticing It—is intriguing enough. You’ve heard of Interrobang!, of course. It’s one of the most popular shows on the Radiant Imperium’s infospheres, hosted by a spunky ysoki named Selliq. You glance at the door to the Reclamation office that you’re waiting to enter for an important appointment. Still nothing. Well, no harm in queing up a video or two while you wait, right?
You press the play button and settle in for the next 15 minutes.
A blue-and-yellow starburst explodes onto the screen with a magical sound effect as the series’ theme music begins to play, a bit of oldie photon that’s catchy and evocative of cosmic mysteries and unspoken truths. After about a minute, as the music reaches its crescendo, the show’s title appears across the starburst in yellow.
Interrobang!
Featuring Selliq the Seeker and her faithful companion, Lefty!
With special guest, Head Sage Takashi Tomoshiba.
Today’s Topic:
Warpweave Theory
After the final words appear on-screen, the music hits a deep bass note as the black screen and its brightly lettered words dissolve into a camera set that resembles an old warehouse, with a large, square-shaped stage beneath several high-powered UV lights. In the background, the walls of the chamber are illuminated purple with holographic stars. Standing on the stage is a ysoki woman, Interrobang!’s host. She waves curtly as she begins to speak.
“Welcome to another episode of Interrobang!, where we delve the mysterious myths of the multiverse and more! I’m Selliq, and this is my assistant, Lefty.” Selliq gestures to her left and a hover drone descends from outside the camera frame, its central body a blank holopad screen. As the drone enters the shot, an emoji appears on its facial display.
“:-)“
“Today, equal parts magical mysteries and quantum quandaries! We’re looking at Warpweave Theory, the magic that moves the multiverse.” As Selliq speaks, definitions write themselves in holo-chalk on a blackboard conveniently placed behind her.
“Warpweave Theory is essentially the idea that an infinite number of worlds exist. Picture, if you will, an ooze.” As Selliq tells her audience to picture an ooze, a small cart rolls in front of her from off-screen with a small ball of over-the-counter slime on it and a knife. Selliq picks up the knife nonchalantly as she stops the cart.
“This ooze represents our reality, and this knife represents internal actions taken by entities within that reality. The ooze hobbles along, growing and expanding at an expected rate as it enjoys its theoretical life when suddenly, a person living inside that reality makes a choice! Maybe they finally decide to have tacos for dinner instead of pizza, or maybe they decide to date the hunky jock from high school instead of the sensitive scientist they met in biochem 101. In any case, the choice is made, the die cast….” Selliq slices the ooze in half with her knife for effect.
“The ooze is split. The reason is simple—for every choice we make, a reality exists where that choice was not made. The science goes back to Azanian physicist, Ervellan Shrodemaven, and his famous and and always culturally significant thought experience, Shrodemaven’s Cat.” An illustrative portrait of Ervellan Shrodemaven appears on the blackboard as well as a square with a detailed drawing of a cat inside of it. Despite being a drawing, the cat is animated, bobbing its tail back and forth and meowing.
“In Shrodemaven’s Cat, Shrodemaven posited that if you place a cat inside a box and filled that box with poison, at a quantum level that cat is both simultaneously alive and dead until the box is opened and the cat inside observed. In observing the cat, we essentially split reality in twain. We create one reality where the cat is dead and one reality were the cat is alive and move into the reality that corresponds to the outcome that we observed. Both realities exists at the same point in space-time but at different molecular wavelengths. One becomes an alternate reality to the reality we experience.” As Selliq explains the most basic concepts of quantum physics, small drawings appear on the blackboard in tandem to her statements, such as a second box appearing with a dead cat, one of the box’s opening, and a drawing of multiple planet Tors overlaying upon themselves to represent the concept of two planets existing in the same space in different realities.
“:mystic_ball: ”
“This, of course, is a gross oversimplification of quantum physics, but understanding the basics is necessary to understand warpweaving. To help me explain—and maybe cast a spell or two while he’s here—I’ve invited longtime friend of the show and survivor of several episodes, Takashi Tomoshiba, to Interrobang!.” The camera pans to the right as Selliq invites her guest on-stage, zooming out slightly to accommodate for the difference in height between the plucky ysoki and her kitsune guest. Takashi stands just shy of twice Selliq’s height and is garbed in resplendent gold and crimson robes, the colors of the Radiant Imperium, with brown fur giving way to white on his lower jaw, neck, and torso. Most impressively, however, are Takashi’s nine elegant tails, which float in place behind him as he moves as though he were in zero gravity.
“Thank you for having on your show again, Selliq.” Takashi bows politely. As he does, a banner with his name and title—High Sage of the Arcana Lavos—frames him within the shot.
“Thank YOU for gracing us with your overwhelming expertise!” Selliq giggles. “Today’s topic is the Warpweave and its mystical implications. What can you share with us today, Tomoshiba-sama?”
“Quite a lot, actually, though probably not enough to make witchwarpers out of most of your audience.” Takashi grins as he steps in front of Selliq’s blackboard, several of his tails picking up pieces of chalk and writing their own notes as Takashi speaks rather than rely on Interrobang!’s animations.
“Everything you’ve said about quantum theory—and by association, Warpweave Theory—is correct, Selliq, but ultimately too small in scope. You see, current quantum theorists believe that any event, when observed, creates alternate universes. For example, a leaf falls from a tree and you observe its descent. In that instant, an infinite number of alternate universes are created for every possible path that leaf takes from the branch it fell from all the way down to the spot of ground it landed on. As a result, there are an infinite number of realities that are quite similar to our own. However, small variations exist, and as multiple variations occur within a single possibility, that reality moves further and further from what you might call the “sacred deviation” of reality, or the hypothetical most real reality. The “prime reality,” if you would. For instance, let’s say the most real reality is the one where this little life falls right at the base of its tree. Over countless deviations, one reality at a time, one version of this reality—one possibility, if you would—has our life landing several yards away onto the windshield of a speeding hover truck. And suddenly, an infinite number of additional alternate realities are born based on how the truck’s driver reacts to the leaf’s sudden presence. If he crashes, an infinite number more regarding the size of the crash, who’s involved, whether people live our die. Every event, no matter how insignificant, creates, an infinite number of possibilities destined to spiral away from our own observed outcomes.” As he speaks, Takashi’s tails draw a jumbled mess of hypothetical solution that form a spiraling pattern with his so-called “prime reality” at its center.
“Fascinating!” Selliq pips. Takashi nods in response.
“Quite! Many scientists even believe that observation can retroactively create alternate universes. In Heckruta’s Dinosaurs, Rograw Heckruta posited the idea that Toran dinosaurs were simultaneously feathered and unfeathered until cloning technology became advanced enough that we could scan fossils to determine the truth. The moment that information was observed, we all slid into the reality where Toran dinosaurs are fathered while alternate realities where they did not possess feathered came into existence.”
“:dinosaur_raptor: :quill: ❗ ”
“What Lefty said! You mean that scientists accidentally created alternate realities just by determining whether or not Toran dinosaurs have feathers?”
“Yes.” Takashi nods. “An infinite number of alternate realities, in fact.”
“Does that mean that we accidentally create alternate realities whenever we determine something we observe isn’t true?” Again, Takashi nods his head in response.
“That is a implication, but to put it simply, yes.”
“:gasp: :scream:” Takashi nods as he glances at the drone’s emotes, continuing his lecture.
“This property of reality is the essence of how Warpweaving, or dimensional magic, works. A spellcaster makes an observation about their reality and, in making that observation, creates an alternate reality that their magic either emulates or outright steals from. In general, the more complicated the deviations from our reality, the more difficult the spell is to cast.”
“This is FASCINATING, Head Sage!” The ysoki beams, barely about to contain her excitement. “But can we … perhaps … have a practical lecture? With some spellcasting? Maybe?” Selliq clearly struggles to contain her excitement, causing Takashi to grin mischievously.
“Certainly.
“✨❗”
“Now, one of the most important concepts for Warpweaving—an arcanoscientific law, if you would—is that all outcomes create alternate realities, not just those posited by sapient realities. But understanding this isn’t enough; a prospective witchwarper must have the talent to skim through these possible realities, find the one they want, and make the changes necessary to bring that reality into ours, however temporary.” As Takashi speaks, he begins gesturing his hands about as magical symbols and circles appear around him. As he finishes his sentence, he points at Selliq and she freezes in place temporary, unmoving save for her nose, which wriggles twice before her entire body changes. Though her build changes little, her fur turns jet-black and her features change from those of a female ysoki to those of a male, though the changes are far from dramatic until Selliq speaks, ‘his’ voice now an octave deeper.
“So, you go and cast your spells by findin’ what you want and pullin’ them into our world?”
“That’s right,” Takashi grins as Selliq seems completely unaware of the changes . “Take prenatal growth and development as an example. No one considers the fertilization of a sperm cell into an unfertilized egg to be an event one observes, but the outcome of fertilization—the formation of an infant with observable phenotypical traits—is an outcome one can observe. So a skilled witchwarper can reach across multiple alternate realities and find a version of themselves that was fertilized differently in the womb and expresses different phenotypes, resulting in a dramatically different appearance, demeanor, even gender.”
“Neato!” Selliq remarks, Takashi’s sly grin about different genders clearly going over his head.
“As a result, the notion of ‘you’ is somewhat fluid as it pertains to Warpweave Theory. After all, arcanobiological study confirms that mortals are composed are comprised of two distinct parts—a physical body and a unique immortal soul.” Takashi begins casting another spell as he continues his explanation, pointing at Selliq again as the spell finishes. Again, the ysoki freezes and twitches his nose as the spell takes effect.
“The physical body comes into existence at a specific time, but arcanoscientists currently believe that souls don’t always flow directly from the stars to the bodies they come to inhabit. They move at the speed of light and take time to reach their eventual destination, drawn to developing infant bodies near the time of their birth by a hypothetical “beacon” that all fully developed infants emit. In humans, kitsune, ysoki, and many other species this typically occurs when an infant has developed enough that they can survive independently outside of its mother’s womb, or just before hatching in the case of egg-laying species like tengu or vesk.” Takashi’s hands glow as he speaks, and Selliq’s body changes form in bear perfect tandem with his works—first into a plain-looking human man with ratty features, a feathered tengu, a reptillian vesk, and finally back into a ysoki, all seemingly without noticing the changes.
:Based on the arcanoscientific laws of Slazarin’s Theory of Incarnative Heirarchies, in which Mahalid Slazarin stated that souls incarnate from lower-order life forms to higher-order ones before moving on to the afterlife, we believe that errant souls are able to discriminate between different beacons’ resonating frequencies, and therefore have some ability to discriminate between different bodies based on beacon resonance, though we also know that a soul’s perceptions are limited and prone to error. We even think that some souls simply wait for the perfect beacon to inhabit, and since your parents ultimately decide when to conceive you…” As Takashi lectures, Selliq is silence as he slowly shrinks, becoming younger on-screen. Within ten seconds, the ysoki’s head dips beneath the camera frame, which remains fixed on Takashi until he pauses briefly to look at the camera and point down at the spot where Selliq once stood. The camera whips down to the ground, revealing an infant ysoki babbling within the adult Selliq’s now oversized garments. Takashi picks Selliq up with his tails, the babe just eight inches long, and passes him into his hands.
“More advanced Warpweaving could see you replaced with a variant where you’re, say, three decades younger?” The infant Selliq babbles as he sticks his paw into his mouth while grasping the tip of one of Takashi’s tails, the camera transfixed upon him as Takashi cradles the babe in the nook of his arm, which he presses to his chest.
“:mouse: :baby: ❓❗”
“Correct, Lefty!” Takashi pats the drone on its robotic chassis with one of his tails while giving Selliq scritches. The baby gurgles and coos in response.
“Once you look beyond the small changes, you can start to imagine even stranger realities where witchwarpers can access even more drastic changes. A reality where a volcanic eruption at this precise location spewed hot magma all over Tor, allowing me to do the same here. A reality where Blood Space warped Tor’s atmosphere as it did others, allowing one to call clouds of noxious fumes into place. A reality where I had a partner who gave birth to a bouncing baby boy just a few months ago….” Takashi casts another spell as he continues, infant Selliq doubling in size as his fur turns the same color brown as Takashi’s and his features shift from those of a ratlike ysoki to a vulpine kitsune babe.
“:fox: :baby: ❗” Takashi doesn’t comment on Lefty’s remarks this time. Instead he adjusts the child he’s holding in his arms to get a look at him, the boy’s tail flicking back and forth on screen for a few seconds as the High Sage looks him over.
“He’s got my eyes, my fur patterns, several other notable phenotypical traits. But I don’t quite care for diaper changing, so let’s say your mother and I met six or seven years ago and make you a little older, shall we, son?” Takashi waggles his hand, causing the baby kitsune to rapidly grow into a young child wearing Selliq’s crimson and blue clothes, a stunned and disoriented expression on his face.
“Head spinning there, my boy?” Talashi playfully asks his ‘son.’
“Uh … huh,” Selliq mumbles before blinking a few times, his eyes suddenly snapping open as he looks directly at the camera, ears drooping and tail moving squarely between his legs as he latches on to Takashi’s leg and hides behind him, gripping the adult for dear life. Takashi laughs at Selliq’s antiics.
“Don’t tell me you’re getting camera shy already!” He pats Selliq on the head with one of his hands. “Honestly, are all young kitsune this terrified of cameras these days?” Takashi looks directly at the camera and winks.
“But there you have it, the basis of Warpweave Theory! To summarize, Warpweaving—also called dimensional magic—works off of the principle that every event that occurs in any reality causes that reality to splinter, creating one reality for every possible outcome to that event. Warpweaving allows witchwarpers to cast spells by magically rearranging space-time into a configuration that matches that of an alternate reality, either by rearranging or outright replacing something that exists with another possible outcome. Since literally anything we can observe can serve as a nexus event for deviations in reality, infinite worlds quite alien and unlike those we’ve discussed today exist, and can be used to cast increasingly powerful spells! As for whether or not communication or travel to alternate realities is possible….” Takashi looks down at Selliq, who shyly meets his gaze.
“That’s a topic for another day.” Takashi flicks several of his tails, and the child kitsune clinging to his leg is suddenly replaced with Selliq’s normal, female ysoki self. Her brow furrows, clearly confused, as she steps out from behind Takashi’s robes, adjusts her wrinkled suit, and clears her voice as she begins Interrobang!’s outro.
“Thank you for joining us, and remember: infinite mysteries means infinite possibilities! Tune in next time for more mysteries and myths of the multiverse, explained!” She waves goodbye excitedly, Takashi joining in with a more reserved, curt wave as the screen blurs and the credits begin to roll. Interrobang!’s theme music begins to play, but Selliq speaks over it briefly.
“Hey, you never showed us any magic, Tomoshiba-sama!” Selliq protests. Takashi only chuckles.
“I suppose not, my apologies. Unrelated, when will you be editing this episode?”
“Pretty soon! I wanna release it next Unaday. I just need to … hey! Hey, wait a minute! Why are you grinning like that?” Takashi, composed as he was throughout the entire interview, begins snorting with laughter.
“Laughing?! What did you do, Takashi? WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?!?!”
Interrobang!
Cast
Selliq Mysterium
Lefty
Special Guest
Takashi Tomoshiba
Also Featuring…
Selliq Mansterium . . . . . . . . . . Selliq Mysterium
Human Selliq . . . . . . . . . . Selliq Mysterium
Tengu Selliq . . . . . . . . . . Selliq Mysterium
Vesk Selliq . . . . . . . . . . Selliq Mysterium
Baby Boy Selliq . . . . . . . . . . Selliq Mysterium
Baby Kitsune Selliq . . . . . . . . . Selliq Mysterium
Tomoshiba-chan . . . . . . . . . Selliq Mysterium
No existences were altered without consent during the filming of this programming.
Interrobang!, Selliq, and Takashi Tomoshiba belong to Everybody Games and are used with permission. You can read more about Selliq and Interrobang! in Pop Culture Catalog: Infosphere Shows.
