Pathfinder Socialite is a twice monthly series on the Private Companion blog in which we speak with people of interest in the Pathfinder Society Organized Play community, the Venture Officers and 5-star Game Masters whose tireless volunteer efforts make Pathfinder Society possible.

Meet Alexandra Pitchford, former Seattle Venture-Captain, creator of the Bitz webcomic, and transgendered person.

 

Private Companion: What brought you into the gaming hobby, and to Pathfinder specifically?

I’d say I’ve always been a gamer, on some level. When I was just a kid, I remember my dad telling me stories of his days gaming, playing with the original white Dungeons & Dragons pamphlets. He even still has them! But yeah, he really instilled in me the love of games and fantasy. As for Pathfinder, well…I find this a rather funny story, because I only even found out about it after I found a post on the Wizards of the Coast forums talking about it! This was back when 4th Edition D&D had yet to be released, and no one was quite sure what we were going to get in the final product. I wound up checking out what was in the works with Pathfinder and immediately fell in love. I think I even still have the softcover playtest book in a box somewhere.

PC: How did you come to be a Venture Captain, and what were some of the highlights of your experience?

Well, I remember when the VC program was first announced. Josh Frost was still in charge of the Pathfinder Society at Paizo, and I remember pretty vividly when my local PFS group first heard about the position. I waffled a bit on whether I wanted to apply or not, and then decided to give it a go. Next thing I know, Josh is calling me on the phone to ask me a few more questions, and offered me the position once I did. The sad thing is, I had a friend in the same group who had expressed interest in applying too, but when she heard that I applied she backed out. I kept telling her to give it a go. You never know until you try, right?

Some of my highlights, really, all revolve around the conventions. I absolutely loved going to the local game nights of course, but I think the most fun I had was going to the conventions during my year in the position. PAX, GenCon, PaizoCon. I always got to run games for some of the most interesting and fun people, and my favorite parts were always playing with a group that was just getting into the game, and watching them just go to town on an adventure. When you get seasoned players, they tend to do certain things, expect certain things…but with a pack of newbies, especially the right ones, you may never know what to expect. And that, I think, makes it even more fun.

PC: Describe the region in which you coordinated Pathfinder Society events.

My region was Seattle, Washington, though I made the trip down to Olympia (where I’d lived before that for over a decade) as often as I could to visit the original group I had helped start there. It’s the home region, so it always felt like there was a lot of pressure to make sure it was the #1 region. But, I did my best, and I think I did a bang-up job for being someone with little coordination experience prior to that. Though, I know that the new VC, Kyle Elliott, has been knocking it out of the park. I’m proud to have served in the position, but I’m glad it’s in the hands of someone like him.

PC: As people often ostracized for the things we identify with, gamers should understand the need for inclusion. A little under a year ago, when you started hormone therapy, how did your gaming group react?

Well, with my original home group at least (who I still try to keep in touch with, despite being in an entire different state now), they were incredibly supportive. My best friend, John, had known my feelings of confusion for years, and was honestly not surprised at all. In fact, I don’t think I encountered a single negative reaction from any of my friends. Even people I hadn’t spoken to since High School were sending me messages of support. So…I’d say the reactions were good. Of course, this isn’t the case for everyone, but I’d like to think the reason here is because I surround myself with awesome people who care about my happiness. Kudos, guys. You all rock!

PC: In a hobby as passionate and expressive as ours, it can feel like you know a person even if you only seen them once or twice a year, or have only met them once. How did you handle seeing people as Allie the first time when they were expecting Dane?

I’ll be honest. It was nerve-wracking. Before I started transitioning, I stepped down from my position as Seattle’s Venture-Captain in order to kind of pull myself out of that public and very visible position. I’d say my first instance of seeing a load of people that I’d known before, be it from my work as the VC, or just from gaming in general, was at PaizoCon 2012. And yeah, I was nervous. Since I’m friends with several of the Paizo staffers on Facebook, I knew that the news of my decision had become pretty widespread there, and with pretty much my entire friend list. But really, I was nervous for nothing. Everyone I knew treated me really well, and I really want to thank them for that. They were supportive, and treated me how I wanted to be treated. It turned out pretty great and I was able to relax. Of course, at the time I was still fairly early in the first year of transitioning and being on hormones, so I did get a lot of misgendering from people I didn’t know. But…I think my favorite moment of the Con was when I was sitting in the hall talking to some of the Paizo folks, and Cosmo noticed that my badge had my old name on it (with “Dane” scratched out in pen and Alexandra written in its place). He totally blew me away when he asked if I’d like a blank badge to write my correct name on it. That’s the one moment of the convention that sticks with me, and it really meant a lot to me. Thanks, Cosmo.

PC: Paizo editor-in-chief F. Wesley Schneider recently revealed that when asked at last year’s Queer as a Three-Sided Die GenCon panel about transgender representatives in roleplaying, he and the other panellists were stumped for an example. How do you feel about this?

Well, that’s definitely something I’d like to see. The funny thing is, gender has been a fluid, and largely meaningless thing in RPGs like Pathfinder for a long time. A certain “cursed” belt comes to mind, in fact. That said, it needs to be handled carefully. Just like any group (especially other groups in that LGBT classification) there are stereotypes and pitfalls that…definitely should be avoided. I’m not sure what the equivalent would be in a pen-and-paper RPG, but the sad, old habit of having trans* women in television and movies being played by men in drag, or constantly being portrayed as victims, or even villains, comes to mind. The important thing to remember, like any LGBT character, is that they’re people first. Don’t let that aspect of them define their whole character. Ashara Nyx, the elven magus (to make up a character on the spot) is a magus and a warrior first. All other things…her sexuality, gender identity, whatever…are completely secondary. They’re facets, not the character’s entire self.

So, yeah, I’d love to see them do something like that! I even gave you guys a cool name, Paizo. Get on that! ^_~

PC: On the one hand, the belt of gender reversal is a cursed item, implying that changing one’s gender has negative connotations. On the other hand, it implies that identifying yourself by one gender and being forced to inhabit a body of another gender is the curse. What are your thoughts on this item and its long history with the game?

I was wondering when this was gonna come up! Yeah, as I mentioned before, this particular artifact has a rather storied history in the game. It’s implied as a curse, but I think that the idea you mentioned – that it’s being forced to inhabit the body of another gender that you don’t identify with – is the real curse. Heck, I know that I would have loved to get my hands on that belt a few years ago. But it’s inhabited a place, for me, that is both uncomfortable and fascinating. I don’t see anything inherently wrong with the item, really, since it’s pretty equal in what it does to both men and women…but I bet there are more than a few people in Golarion, for instance, who’d consider the belt’s effects a boon if they ran across it. Makes me wonder if “transition” in Golarion (or any other fantasy world where that thing exists) involves going on a quest to hunt the thing down. Hmm…that could actually make an interesting story!

PC: Come to think of it, there was a transgendered ogre in The Order of the Stick, the original owner of the Girdle of Feminity/Masculinity. Unfortunately, the reaction of the protagonists to its discovery wasn’t a shining example of inclusiveness. How do you deal with people who have trouble with the idea of transgendered persons?

That’s a bit tougher. I haven’t had a lot of experience with people like that, but I’ve seen stuff written by people like that, and just don’t seem to understand, or outright deny the thought. It’s…troubling to see, honestly. Things are getting better for us, but at the same time there are still bigots out there who have a problem wrapping their heads around the fact that gender and birth sex don’t have to be one and the same. And, sadly, a lot of people like that can’t be swayed, no matter what you say or how you try to explain. Still…with someone like that, the best I can really do is distance myself from them. If they seem so bothered by my very existence, then they’re not the sort of person I need in my life. I have too much love for myself now, to let someone like that succeed in tearing me down.

PC: Wes described that panel as GLBTQ, an internationally recognized support group with no official affiliation, with the T in that acronym standing for Transgendered. How are the challenges a transgendered person faces and needs support for similar to the challenges of the non-transgendered persons who identify with the GLBTQ support group?

Well, we have a lot of the same needs, when it comes to support. I think trans* individuals, women and men both, tend to get marginalized and pushed aside. Moreso, these days, than the rest of that lovely acronym. That said, times are still changing. All of us that fall under that umbrella still face prejudice. Still…for some trans* folk, the discrimination can sometimes be more prevalent. There’s a lot of focus, for some of us, on “passing”. Basically being taken at face value for the gender we identify with. And that’s great, but…not all of us can do that. In some states, for instance, there’s no law stopping an employer for firing, or choosing not to hire someone, simply based on their gender identity. There’s even been a lot of fuss lately over an incident where a six-year-old trans* girl was barred from using the girls’ restroom at her school because other parents were concerned. Because a six-year-old trans* girl is something to be so concerned over. </sarcasm>

But, yeah…there’s a long way to go, still. We’re making headway, but I think people need to remember what that T in LGBTQ or GLBTQ or however you want to order it stands for.

PC: If a player who is not transgendered wished to roleplay a transgendered character, how would they most effectively portray that? What are the clichés and stereotypes they should be aware of?

That’s a rather hard question to answer. I think the most effective way to portray that sort of character is to not dwell on that particular aspect of their backstory. It’s there, it exists…but it’s not the overwhelming aspect of who they are. I know that I’m so many things, other than trans*. Yes, I’m transgender, but I’m also a writer, an artist, a gamer, and a woman, and all those define who I am without being the one all-encompassing thing. Just like a gay character, it’s all too easy to fall into that trap of making that all they are. And seriously, that’s annoying. I do know that a character like that might be more aware of how people perceive them. People tend to take for granted that they’re accepted as they are, day-in and day-out. As a trans* woman, I know that one of the biggest worries on my mind, many days, is how people see me. So far so good, though. But…I also know I’m luckier than most in that respect.

As far as cliches, go, I’d say avoiding the same stereotypes and cliches that get overused in visual media is a good idea. For a female trans* character, for instance, don’t make her look and act just like a guy in a dress. I think we’ve all seen that somewhere before. A trans* woman in a show played by a male actor, in rather poor or over-the-top drag, often played up for comedic effect. Especially when they go out of their way to pick someone with a super-deep, masculine voice. It gets kinda tiresome.

PC: Bitz is your heavily autobiographical comic strip with the most clever title of any webcomic I ever read. What has it been like, putting yourself so out there?

It’s been interesting, honestly. Making a webcomic is something I’ve always wanted to do, but have lacked the confidence to actually follow through on. I don’t have a huge following yet, but I get a decent number of hits on a weekly basis. So far, I’ve gotten some great feedback, and I even stumbled on a fan that wasn’t someone I already knew in a reply thread on a Facebook page I liked, a couple weeks ago. That made my day.

PC: What inspired you to make a comic strip?

Well, I think I really needed an outlet. I had so many great ideas for stories, for characters, and like I previously said I’d wanted to do one for a long time. With starting hormones, and coming out to my friends and family…I was finally getting that confidence that I so desperately needed. Of course, it also helped that I had some great influences. There are two comics that I read when I was still struggling with who I was, and both of these helped me out immensely. The first is Venus Envy, by the artist Erin Lindsey (who is awesome). That can be found at www.venusenvycomic.com. The second is the comic Rain, by the artist Jocelyn Charity DiDomenick (rain.thecomicseries.com). Both are really well-written comics with some really inspiring, and really touching stories, and both helped me come to terms with who I really am. I’ll always be grateful for that. So, I honestly consider making Bitz my way of giving back. Sure, it’s something I’ve always wanted to do, but I’d like to think it might help someone, someday, like those comics helped me.

PC: One of the ways in which Bitz is most effective is that being a gamer, or being transgendered, or being in a lesbian relationship is not what the comic is about, as much as it is about Allie, who identifies as a gamer, a transgendered person, and someone in a lesbian relationship. How do you balance the moments of absolute vulnerability with the often light-hearted comedy?

The funny thing is, at least with the first thirty strips – which I’ve come to call the “prologue” – I wasn’t really trying to balance. A lot of times, it depended on the mood I was in at the time. The “In the Park” strip, for instance, where Allie has a confrontation with her best friend Jake after a mishap at their Pathfinder game, came on the heels of an incident where someone said something similar to me. I needed to vent the feelings I had, and that strip (and the one just before it) were what resulted. Things are great now, of course, but at the time I wasn’t sure how things would go.

PC: Other than a few cameos by some dice and a GM Screen, most of the gamer moments in Bitz have been video game based. When can Pathfinder fans expect more RPG gaming?

Soon! I promise! As of Chapter 1, after moving to a new town (Salem, PA. My own little homage to Venus Envy, since that’s the same city VE takes place in), Allie’s gotten a job at a game shop. Chapter 1 is pretty much entirely written, and will close out at 24 pages, so…5 more weeks! Then we’ll jump into Chapter 2, where I plan to have a few more gaming moments. I know Allie’s itching to get back to the table, hopefully as a player this time. I’m even contemplating throwing a convention and some cosplay into the mix, too, so we’ll see.

 

PC: What are your habits, both productive and counterproductive, as a writer?

Well, I can definitely list the counterproductive ones! I know, as most artists are, I’m my worst critic. So, in the past, a lot of my stuff has never seen the light of day just because I’d get partway through, decide it was trash, and toss it out. Still, I think once I get going on something, it’s hard to pull me away. I know my girlfriend (Lisa, of course, who the comic Lisa is based on) can get irked if I lose myself in coloring a new strip, for instance, and forget to speak for however long it takes me to finish (sorry, honey!). Yet, when I’m not in the thick of a project, it can be hard for me to start. I know I’ve been delayed with a new strip more than once just because I simply spaced, or didn’t really feel up to working on one when it was due. I’m trying to improve, though.

PC: Bitz isn’t the only fiction you produce, several of your short stories set in Golarion have been published in issues of Wayfinder. What are your favourite parts of Pathfinder to explore?

Oh, lots of parts. This most recent issue of Wayfinder, which is issue #8, let me trot out a character I’ve been dying to share: a Tiefling pirate captain, Miranda Athros. But, really, I love so many areas of the Pathfinder setting that it’s sometimes hard to decide what to write about. The dark streets of devil-worshiping Cheliax, the untamed seas of the Shackles, and so much more. Heck, I’m tempted to write a story lately around my Hellknight character Karriden, who actually ran afoul of the Pathfinder version of that particular girdle in a PFS adventure and who I just never bothered to change back. Karri, as I’ve been calling her now, is a really fun character to play, and I’d love to explore some of her reactions and motivations now that she’s…her!

PC: As someone whose writing platform includes such an expression of a point of view, how would you rate the importance of including transgendered characters in all your works?

You know, I’ve never really considered including a trans* character in every single thing I do. Oh, it’s good to write about what you know, but it’s also fun to explore other concepts and themes with characters. Would I include a trans* character in a short story? Well, see my mention of Karri in my last answer! I have no intention of turning her back, so exploring her coming to terms with herself, especially since (unlike me) she didn’t exactly struggle with her gender identity, and has simply found herself stuck in that body against her will, would be kinda fun. That said…I think it’s important to represent characters of all sorts, and represent them well. But including them in everything might get a bit old and overly done. I want people to like my writing because they enjoy the stories and characters, regardless of what their gender or sexuality may be. There do need to be more trans* characters, period, in various medias…ones that are represented well, and that aren’t ridiculous mockeries or cliches. I’d rather put them in stories that make sense for the character, though, rather than just start dropping them into everything I do.

PC: What advice do you have for other transgendered people or persons who are considering changing genders?

Well, all I can say is really this: Be true to who you know you are. It’s hard. It really is. And it can be pretty darn frightening. But, if you’ve done enough soul-searching, then taking that step forward is totally worth it. You’re not alone, either. The best friends I have are ones I made after coming out, and they’ve helped me through so much in the time since I’ve gotten to know them. Things may still be hard, for people like us…but they’re getting better.

And to anyone struggling through that, trying to figure out who they are and who they want to be…I wish you the best of luck, and all the happiness in the world.