Behind The Screens, Paint 2 Play Suspended Indefinitely

The short story is that, unfortunately, for the immediate future, I just don’t have time to write my blogs. 

The long story is less of a story and more a cathartic vent. 

I am someone who is happiest when my days are full. Pre-quarantine, my days were bed to work to evening with the family to night with my wife, or doing network work, or seeing friends. Weekends aren’t much different, with kids activities, groceries and housework, and seeing other family filling the majority of the day. 

I’ve been quarantined for a month this week, and it’s pushed even me to my limits. Now, I have to say that I’m in a much better position than a lot of if not most cases I’ve heard. I’m working from home, as has my wife, and we’ve been having a great time with my daughters. The weathers been fine to let them play in our backyard for the most part, and it’s been reported that Quebec is leading North America in social distancing and Covid-19 response. We are safe, secure, and happy. 

However, my office is now my work. It’s where I write from 6 till noon six days a week. It’s where my family understands to leave me alone. It’s not a room I want to spend additional time in. And even if it’s the four of us alone in this house for the foreseeable future, I don’t want to spend time away from them. 

One reality of maintaining the forward momentum of my lifestyle is I need to be strict and realistic about what I put my time towards. It’s why I’ve never had anything to do with Know Direction: Beyond even though I’ve always liked Starfinder. It’s why I quit my game group of 10+ years in order to launch Adventurous. The whole “you make time for the things you really care about” is not fair for someone who cares about a lot. So realistically, right now in order to continue to work, which I am lucky enough to still have, and my network directing duties at a time when The Know Direction Network has grown larger than I ever imagined, and to do what I can to keep my family sane and to get the family time I need to maintain my sanity, I can’t carve out an extra two or three hours a week to churn out my blog. Freeing myself of that responsibility also frees up my brain space that alternates between “ooh, that’s a good idea for a blog” and “I really need to find time to write” or in the case of Paint 2 Play, “I need to paint this mini/come up with these stats” when it comes to blog related thinking. 

In case it seems odd that the network continues to grow and I may seem to be doing more work and you’re wondering why I’m making time for X but not Y, not all project take as much time or energy. It’s like building a tower out of abstract shapes. I can rotate through certain shapes and find a way to maintain structural integrity, but if after a few rotations I notice the same shapes just aren’t fitting anymore, I need to accept that they don’t belong in the tower at the moment, even if the tower can handle and maybe even use other new abstract shapes. 

For fans of Behind The Screens or Paint 2 Play, I’m sorry I can’t keep up the content that was maybe helping you get through some tough times. But at this point I’ve missed two blogs in a row, and I’d rather disappoint you once right now than disappoint you a little every week that I think I can keep the blog going but I can’t.

Ryan Costello

What started as one gamer wanting to talk about his love of a game grew into a podcast network. Ryan founded what would become the Know Direction Podcast network with Jason "Jay" Dubsky, his friend and fellow 3.5 enthusiast. They and their game group moved on to Pathfinder, and the Know Direction podcast network was born. Now married and a father, Ryan continues to serve the network as the director of logistics and co-host of Upshift podcast, dedicated to the Essence20 RPG system he writes for and helped design. You can find out more about Ryan and the history of the network in this episode of Presenting: http://knowdirectionpodcast.com/2021/01/presenting-ryan-costello/