Attempts to keep the Know Direction Network tradition of tasteful April Fool’s prank posts were derailed this year by a timeline that feels like a tasteless joke.

” I just… I just can’t…” Know Direction Director of Logistics Ryan Costello was heard mumbling to himself at his desk, the weight of reality taking its toll.

His attempts at humour got as far as replacing the P in Pathfinder with a B (or, through trickery with the GNU Image Manipulation Program, copying the bulbous top of the P to create the illusion of a B).

The name suggests some alternate Lost Omens campaign setting where finding somewhere to clean yourself plays a key role. Alternatively, it could be a waterproof reprint of the Pathfinder 2e Remaster rulebooks, making them suitable for bath time. Naturally that would require a room full of bathtubs arranged in a circle so players can see each other’s faces and nothing else, or possibly a tub with leg room on the scale of Francis’ bath from Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure.

“Is this anything?” a disassociated Costello muttered. He returned to the drawing board for approximately five seconds then doomscrolled social media for half an hour, switching between apps like he’d find one that existed in a world of rainbows and butterflies.

“Path…minder?” he briefly considered before accepting that he reached his limit of mirth.

“A mad narcissist is in a race against himself to either bankrupt the world economy or start World War III, all to hide his somehow worse crimes,” he finally said. “We know who the April Fool is.”